The Sports Zoo

Manny Ramirez was the hero Friday night, as the Red Sox took a 2-0 lead in the American League Divisional Series against the Southern California Los Angeles Angels of the Greater Anahiem Area United States of America.  The Boston fan karma continued, as a 17 year-old son of a Red Sox owner stole a fly pop from the glove of catcher Jeff Mathis, keeping a Ramirez at-bat alive and leading to the run that forced the tie.

Both teams travel to the West Coast for Sunday’s game 3, and we will have an interesting pitching matchup, with Old School Curt Schilling vs New School Jarrod Weaver.  If I had to guess, Schill will get run by the 4th inning and Weaver will pitch 7 solid…its the way things work with Schilling early in playoff series.

Either way, only one more victory vs the Angels, and Paps dances again.  Lets keep that dance going all month.

The Cubs have fallen into an 0-2 hole against the DBacks, and the fingers are starting to point.  Who is at fault here…Sweet Lou?  Jason Kendall?  Ted Lilly?  These are very good choices, but the real reason that the Cubs a floundering once again, and possibly the entire Billy Goat Curse, is the overall quality of Chicago Fans.  Video proof is after the jump…

Case #1 - Chicago Cubs Fans at Wrigley Park

Case #2 - Boston Red Sox Fans at Fenway Park

I believe Sergeant Ramathorn said it best.  “But our shinanigans are cheeky and fun, their shinanigans are cruel and tragic.  Which makes them not shinanigans at all really.  Wee little shinanigans.”

Right now basketball, and to a lesser extent hockey (because it doesnt have a pro league), are experiencing a unique officiating problem…players taking dives to draw penalties.  It really started in hoops about 5 years ago when Vlade Divac found a creative way to get Shaq in foul trouble during the Western Finals, but has grown into a league wide epidemic of flopping.  Case in point was the NBA Finals last year, showcasing some of the best floppers in the NBA; Manu Ginobli, Bruce Bowen, Anderson Varejao, and Tony Parker.  Flopping is an immediate problem because it throws into question the integrity of the game, and turns officiating from an objective observation of the competition, to a constant judgement of the intention of players on every play.

Don’t think its that bad in the NBA yet?  Take a look at what soccer has come to:

Can the NBA be far from this?  Some people think this is funny, but honestly, it infuriates me.  If American sports fall to the lows of international futbol, I hope for the sake of competition that American sports fans respond with the same anger I hold toward this blemish on the itegrity of the game.

Gilbert Arenas has always been one of the most entertaining figures in all of sports.  From the online poker at halftime, to going on “strike” from his girlfriend, to defending sharks around the globe.  But if you heard the Jim Rome show today, you learned something amazing about Agent Zero; he only sleeps 3-4 hours a night.  He does this because he spends 10-12 hours per day playing video games, and says he has never slept more than 3 hours a night his entire life, because his mind always needs to be challenged.  This is one dude who you KNOW you are not beating in Madden.

Agent Zero is by far the coolest player in the NBA, and is making a strong push to be the official Zoo baller.  Something tells me Scott is going to have something to say about that, however.  Gilbert, whatever is going on in that mind of yours, never, AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER, stop giving us glimpses into its wonderful tranquility.

Josh Beckett has become the lone bright spot in an ominous week.  1-0 with Dice-K and Schill the next two, things couldn’t look better.  And we are only 2 wins away from Paps dancing the jig again, which is what we all really want.  Also, as long as things are looking up, lets take a cheap shot, shall we?

Little late on this post, because as I’m typing this Aaron Rowand and Pat Burrell just hit back to back homers to cut the lead to 3-2 Rockies.  It still has to be a thrill for Denver to have relevant baseball being played, and who says the Rocks can’t acually pull this thing off?  One has to wonder how Mets fans feel, because on paper they are far better to both of these teams, at least at the plate and in the field.  Welcome to the start of a wild month of baseball, people.  The official Zoo picks:

Rockies over Phils in 5, DBacks over Cubs in 4    -    DBacks over Rockies in 5

Red Sox over Angels in 4, Yankees over Indians in 5    -    Red Sox over Yankees in 7

Red Sox over DBacks in 5

Playoff MVP: Mike Lowell

(Note:  None of that will probably happen.)

Sometimes somebody you know and respect does something that makes you think a little less about them.  And sometimes somebody you idolize goes and does something so dispicable it makes you want to stab yourself in the ear with a mechanical pencil.  Case in point: Jonathan Papelbon.  sigh.

If “Dancing with the Stars” doesn’t call, I’ll be shocked.

(Video from Fanhouse, who got it from 100% Injury Rate, who probably stole it from somebody else.)

This is from the boys over at Deadspin, so you’ve probably seen it by now, but I’ll post it here just in case.  As these guys will learn, when you have a friend like this, you always watch the game near concrete walls.

For the record, I will look like this at about 6:37 EDT tonight.  I hate you Mike Scioscia, I hate you.  Also the highlight of this clip, and there are many, is when the guy screams “You’re college kids, you drink all the time, get fucking louder.”  Wiser words have rarely been spoken.

Its official:  We have our first upset weekend in college football.  Losers included #3 Oklahoma, #4 Florida, #5 West Virginia, #7 Texas, #10 Rutgers, #13 Clemson; and #1 USC narrowly escaped U-Dub with a late Figgie (also #8 Wisconsin only won because Michigan State is incompetant.).  Its great to see all of the upsets, especially because it opens up the possibility of finishing with several 1 or 2 loss teams, and the demise of the wretched BCS system.  I do give the BCS credit for one thing however, that it doesn’t release its standings until halfway through the season, giving the standings a chance to shake out a bit.  How many times has a “Top 5″ team lost in week one, the game been exclaimed a HUGE upset, only to have that team finish below .500 in the end, and not really be that big of an upset.  Going forward I call for the AP and USA Today polls to follow suit with the BCS and not release rankings until the 7th week of the regular season.

But then I’m also calling for a unanimous National Champion, a playoff system, and Tim Tebow winning the Heisman for the next 8 years.  This season is still young however, we’ll save the National Champion rant for later…till then, we shed a single tear for all of the teams who’s season was over before it really even got started.

Yes friends, its that special time of year.  The time of year that makes staring at the ESPN gamecast night after night (MLB Extra Innings?  *scoff*)  worth every second.  Where putting up with Mario Impemba for 6 months doesn’t seem so bad.  Its that time of year where some hearts are broken, and some hearts seem to leap out of your throat.  Mets fans are of the broken heart variety, as the steaking Phillies are about to hand them what Baseball Prospectus points out is the 2nd worst choke job.  EVER.  All the while nobody wants to win the NL Central, there is a SHOOTOUT in the NL West, and bragging rights are up for grabs in the AL East.

If we could just get rid of Dane Cook.  Meh.

(I acually like Dane too…)